User talk:Shuoli1999

Comments on Shuo's wiki page entry
Summary of the wiki entry:

The wiki page in the simplified Chinese language consists mainly of 3 sections. Section 2 is on Jellyfish. Section 3 is on Octopus and Section 4 is on the role of the association cortices in sensory processing. They are translations of the corresponding Sections in English. In general, the translations are precise and simple.

General comments:


 * 1) The language is a bit stiff. Quite strong evidence of 'translated text'. If possible breaks long sentences into shorter ones.
 * 2) When translating relative clauses such as where, that, which, sometimes it is necessary to break into 2 sentences and make it clear what the clause is referring to. For example, this sentence is not clear: 凹陷眼和狭缝眼在起搏器活动（伞盖脉动）和控制游泳方向方面的作用尚不清楚，可以在未来的实验中进行阐释，其中特定的眼睛类型被选择性地使其失去功能. what is 其中 referring to?
 * 3) The octopus section is well translated.
 * 4) Remove 'Central nervous system' Section 3.4. It's the same as 3.3.
 * 5) Unify the citation style. Some citation is before the period symbol .  some are after. I would say put all before.
 * 6) The arrangement of the figures can be improved. make the thumbnails slightly bigger and make the text surround them.

Suggestions on details:


 * 1) Hyperlinks for jumping to the Figures are not working (图1，图2， etc).
 * 2) Section 2.2, move the abbreviations (ULE, LLE, PE, SE) closer to their respective Chinese names:位于垂直中线的上晶状体复杂人形眼（ULE）和下晶状体复杂人形眼（LLE） 凹陷眼（PE）和狭缝眼（SE）
 * 3) End of Section 2.2: do not use  ;    Make them into separate short sentences.
 * 4) 箱形水母是否具有彩色视觉? -> 箱形水母是否具有色彩视觉？
 * 5) Weird grammar: 有一种假说提出，取决于水母身体和触手收缩的速度和强度的游泳速度，是由负责视觉信息高阶处理和整合的独特神经元群的起搏器活动所控制的.
 * 6) In the octopus section, the word 'reject' is better translated into 排斥 than 拒绝.
 * 7) The numbers, for example, 3.5x10^8 is better written into 35亿 (3.5 billion), similar applies to numbers which can be written into 百万 (million), 万 (10k), etc.
 * 8) 所有这些元素都向心性地向神经节发送它们的进程. --> 所有这些元素都将他们的过程向心性地向神经节发送.
 * 9) 注意到，在实施刺激前手动创建弯曲会更容易引起弯曲的传播. --> 人们注意到，当在刺激之前人工施加弯曲时，弯曲的传播更容易启动.
 * 10) 由于失神经支配的章鱼触手的伸展 --> 由于失去神经支配的章鱼触手的伸展
 * 11) 在本维基教科书中，人体解剖学（add link）和生理学 (add link) 部分中描述的感觉系统在神经系统中执行特定的功能.
 * 12) The first sentence in 4.3.2 is repeating. Remove it.

Zuowen Wang (discuss • contribs) 11:25, 5 June 2023 (UTC)