User talk:Bhataijaz143

Its so hard to love someone with all your heart and soul.....and to have them not return it...hurts more than anything else in the world.....I should know I been there....Here is my story... When i was 16 ......i feel in love with with a guy who is related to my cousin but not me....he was 21 (lets call him kevin)...and we used to talk on the phone all the time....but didnt get to see each other much. Little by little i found myself falling really fast for him ....i have never felt this way before with anyone ...and i had a few bfs before but it was never like this....whenever i was around him....i had butterflies in my stomach....i was so nervous.....alwys stuttering....and it was ambarsing but there was no way i could control the way i felt......one day i finally gather the courage to tell him how much i love him in a text message......and was estatic when he said he loved me too....i was jump with joy ...literally....I felt as if all my dreams are comming true...because i taught he was the one.. Being a virgin still i didnt want to move too fast with him...and he never pressured me in anyway ....one major reason i love him so much.... One night I began talking to one of my old classmates online ......and to my surprise she asked me if i knew kevin and i was like yea ...i do ...how do you know him....and she was like oh HE's MY SIS's BF.(let me add she was 2 years younger than me) ..i was so shocked ..i immedately signed off...because in my heart i knew it could be true...i tried to contact him but his phone rang out...and he wasnt online...... .i was devasted and i broke down crying....i didnt want my mom knowing what was going on so i went to the bathroom and sat in the shower for 3 hours straight.....i didnt sleep the whole night. The next day i call him and he answered....when i asked him he swore it was a lie....i was so blinded in love i forgave him.....but i knew deep inside that it was true ...i guess i wasnt ready to face reality at that point .....coincidently, me and the girl went to the same school but she was a freshman.....I just wanted to beat the ba-jesus outta her everytime i see her..... one week later, i got an im from a strange number......the message was like "***** stay the **** away from my man" ....i knew instantly that it was from her.....i was pissed ....the next day me and a couple of my friends wanted to jump her......but she wasnt in school....she gets to live one more day in peace ...lucky lucky her..... I went home and call kevin and told him what i was going to do......thats when he chaged ....he then started to say that he did know who she is and they been together for 2 months......and that she is his baby.....In tears i asked him ...." If she is your baby then what am i?" .....and the ***** was like" well your my baby too.....I dont mind having 2 babies" ....i hanged up and cried my heart out for 2 weeks before calling him again..... I tried to forget him but at the time ...i just couldnt ...so i decided .....that i would rather share him with some one else than live without him....so i went back into his live to be happy.....but he made me more miserible than i was without him....finally with the help of some really good friends i was able to pull away from him .....but no matter what i couldnt stop thinking about him ....for 1 year I cried no-stop everynight......until my brithday came.....my mom threw a big party ...and because he was a good family friend.....she invited him and...he came....i was happy again cause i was hoping that maybe he had changed .....(i heard he had broken up with the girl) .....he was gonna be at my party, cutting cake with me....i was happy ....i couldnt have asked for a better birthday wish.... I couldnt stop counting the hours, dressed up in my finest clothese.....i was waiting impatiently for him.....he arrived a bit late...but i didnt mind cause he was HERE...To my dismay he didnt even wish me happy birthday....he hardly looked at me....because all his attention was on my best friend's 14 year old sister..annie .....(she looks older...and well was preetier and had a better boody than me) ........when i was 16 he alwys told that i was too young for him ...but here he was checking out a 14 year old.....anyways.....to my surprise ...Annie.who was also one of my good friends....knew how much i love him and wanted to be with him again...well she ..was flirting back with him ....and the two of them danced all night and exchange phone numbers.....Now i couldnt hold it in any longer......i ran to my bed room and broke down again.....for the rest of the night i tried to put on a smile cause all my family was there and i didnt want to ruin their night....even tho mines was .....i was so relieve when everyone lefted .....i finally got the chance to let out all the pain i had been building up the hole night.....i buried myself into my pillow and cried my heart out ..... i finally realize that he never loved me ....because if he did he wud never hurt me like that....i knew that i had to get over him ........that night i begged god to free my of the pain because i couldnt take it anymore.....and slowly he did just that.... I couldnt have kevin or his love.....but what i did have was my biggest high school crush...one of the most popular and hottest guy in the school....who showed me what giving and recieving love is all about....he has given me so much love during the past three years....more than some people dont find during their whole lifetime.....indeed i am lucky...i finally found my prince charming..... Today kevin is basically a loser in my eyes and i wonder what i saw in him 4 years ago.....his present girlfirend is really ugly.....and i have bloosomed into a butterfly .....and now he is constantly trying to get my attention by hitting on me, sending me gifts and flowers ....as for me ....i have learnt my lesson....and i know better.....