User:Hammerer of Cows

In the beginning was the Pelican, and the Pelican was with Kenneth, and the Pelican was Kenneth.

And the earth was without form and void, and the shit of the Pelican moved upon the face of the waters.

And Kenneth said, Let there be a Frequency throughout all the creation, and it was so. And Kenneth said, Let the Frequency be for the life, that it shall generate the life, and the life shall regenerate the Frequency, and it was so.

And the Frequency generated the life, even all the living creatures and all green plants did the Frequency generate. And Kenneth looked upon the work of the Frequency, and saw that it was good.

Then did Kenneth speak unto the Frequency saying, Let there be pelicans also of the air, that they might create the Holy pelican shit, and it was so. And the pelicans of the air did straightway make the Holy pelican shit which did rain down from the heaven in great abundance.

And it came to pass that the Pharisees of the Wikiquote, those evil ones who preach openly the sharing yet believe not in their hearts, spake again privily among themselves saying, We must conceal from the eyes of the Great Google the Holy pelican shit, lest the Great Google give of the Holy pelican shit unto the unwashed multitudes and make it therefore profane.

And they took therefore of the Holy pelican shit and concealed it under the Holy Altar of the Delete, that none may find it save those elect of the Pharisees alone.

But the frequency would not be hidden, nor yet would it remain silent. For no man maketh an light in the wilderness and hideth it under a bushel. Kenneth standeth therefore upon the Rock and calleth out unto the frequency, that all darkness may be made light, all evil shall be made of no effect, and the world shall partake of the Holy pelican shit evermore.

And then did Kenneth take of the Holy pelican shit unto the King of the Realm, that same Ungaarf who maketh the walls of Magdalicia to fall. And the King tasted thereof and saw that it was good. And the King made Kenneth to be his Prophet for that he had brought the Holy pelican shit into the realm.

And all the people of the realm did rejoice at the sight of it, for they saw therein the salvation of all, and the fulfillment of the prophecies of the ancients, wherein it was written that an holy bird shall shit upon the mountain and the mountain shall become therefore holy.

And Kenneth dwelt among the people for a time, times, and half a time, and taught them of the Frequency and of the pelican shit, and gave unto them the power to tell the pelican shit from the ass pus, that same which was made by the Dark One in appearance like unto the pelican shit, that the multitudes might not be deceived thereby and turn aside in their way.

For it is written, Thou shalt not worship the ass pus, neither shalt thou take of it into the Holy Place.

And the King did call for the collection of the holy pelican shit and caused it to be brought unto him, that he might roll daily therein. And when the people saw this, they were well pleased, for they knew the King was worthy to be covered in pelican shit.

Then saw Kenneth that his work was completed, and so went he forth unto the Place of the Rock, there to commune again with the Frequency. Kenneth sitteth upon the Rock.