Talk:Exercise as it relates to Disease/Increasing physical activity of youth in the modern world

Feedback --Benrattray (discuss • contribs) 06:54, 13 September 2016 (UTC)
 * can you include a sentence at the start referring to the paper as per the exemplar wiki?
 * background doesn't quite flow as yet, but getting there. Could lead in more specifically to the need for the research that you have critiqued
 * there are "factual" statements that are not supported by evidence (references). In particular - what evidence is there that education alters behaviour?
 * research from - how might it inform the context of the findings, or the implications of the research. how might it tell you something about the quality of the research?
 * kind of research - more detail, and explanation of what it means in lay terms, and what it tells you about the level of evidence provided.
 * statements are quite abrupt. perhaps think about how it could flow and read more easily.
 * language may not be appropriate for a lay audience at times
 * practical implications?
 * assume the formatting/references etc are being worked on.