Talk:Aspies Book/Chatting online - possible disturbances

Section on why I created this and named it X

 * reason I created this section: Many people have left both forums and the chatrooms for a very long time because they've had bad experiences. So I made this section to analyze what are the problems, and type about solutions.
 * reason I named it X: I'm not yet sure to what chapter it will belong, or if it will belong. Logictheo 18:43, 30 April 2007 (UTC)

A problem solving technique
Hi! I'm not an aspie but I would still like to contribute this little problem-solving technique that might be useful:

Whenever someone says or does something that you perceive as hurtful, do this:

1. Identify what you perceived as hurtful and tell it to the person responsible for the hurtful remark or action (eg. "That was a hurtful thing to say").

2. Tell that person how the remark makes YOU feel (eg. "It makes me sad to hear that").

3. Ask the person to clarify what he or she means and what intent he or she had (eg. "What did you mean by that?" and "Did you really mean to hurt me?").

It is mostly helpful to try to respond in a positive or humourous way, thereby disarming the situation and getting an upper hand on the other person. A conversation example:

Person 1: You suck big time at X!

Person 2: ''Ough! That hurts man! Someone please remove this dagger out of my chest! Do you really mean to be this evil?''

Note that Person 2 did all the steps described above. If joking doesnt make the person stop, you might have to explain things in a more serious manner, eg:

''Saying things like that hurts people. Now I am a bit sad because you said that. Is that what you intended to?''

There are a number of outcomes when you respond like this:

1. You have misunderstood the remark and the other person tells you this.

2. The other person apologize.

3. The other person tries to re-explain the remark in a more positive light because he/she understands that the remark was perceived as hurtful by you.

4. The other person continues the abuse. If this happens, discontinue the conversation because it's not worth your time or energy.

Hope this is helpful! --194.103.205.27 (talk) 05:53, 7 June 2009 (UTC)